abc

dreams

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:30:25 GMT

I'm watching those films that make you feel good again. the whole fairy tale thing has gotten to me. not like the last post, now i'm watching some taiwan drama. can't believe i'm watching a chinese drama.. but since i'm very free.. just to past the time i guess.
But seriously, isn't everyone's life a fairy tale? one written by God. I guess so, just that everytime you watch a drama/movie love story, you know the male and female lead will always end up together ultimately. i also don't know why i've become like some material girl or something. but i really wishied for some great love story could happen in my life. well.. hopefully that's what God has written! but for now, i wish i have enough faith to believe my life's ending's going to be good.

i haven't actually finished the drama series yet. left with 4 more episodes. prob be done with them tomorrow morning. then the princess can be with the prince. well, some day my princess will come? haha. i actually i feel a little weird writing all these down. I want to be the prince in my story. will God let me? did God let me?

feel good

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 15:46:46 GMT

don't you just love the movies that make you feel good? the ones with a happily ever after endings?
don't you wished you live in a fairy tale, and love always blossoms, diseases get healed, relationship are resolved?
i wish.

after a long break.

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:43:43 GMT

for all you ppl who still read this blog.

9 months? wow, long time ya. just tt every time i wanted to post, i'm lazy, or tired, or just don't wanna put sadder stuff in here. yup 9 months has been a difficult time. it still is. i'm trying to pick myself up spiritually but it'll take some time and discipline.
actually, frankly, i felt very lonely spiritually this pass year and also last year. been in quite a limited contact with my christian buddies from band. lost all contact with a 'once-called' bestie. never really had a consistently close relationship with anyone in church. church friends has really been limited to sat and sun. and when the nation (actually it's the encik) calls you to serve her in NDP, there is no more sats. so half the church ppl i don't see. no christian colleague. not even a JC person. and when spiritually, you start to fall, with ni support around, you just continue to fall.

thanks to one person's prayer and faith, i'm back on an uphill trek. but, it's still an uphill trek. alone again? i don't know.... is bestie coming back, or has she forgotten. do i pray for another.

keep me in your prayers.

busy

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 13:00:10 GMT

i need air to breath... wah from going home OTOT, now became go home OT. but still, it's really an adventurous posting. hope i don't fall sick man.. haha

in a new place , my grass has turned greener!

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 15:42:38 GMT

hmmm... it's been an interesting posting so far. more exciting. maybe because i came with a positive attitude. but anyways, even though there i don't see the sun anymore (i have a staff appointment, aka high paid clerk), it's exciting to do my job. can't talk much here though. just letting you few guys who still take time to read this blog that i'm better in my new posting. it's an adventure.

missing the jc days..

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 07:50:46 GMT

it's almost a year after jc now. i miss jc. i miss the friends. the teachers. the band pracs. the whole jc experience was really great.
just thinking about the friends from SA. like the only ppl i talk to is marie, yiting and joo ling, just because we take the same bus home together after alumni. and marie's in my section. and marie can't stop talking also. rarely get to talk to momo though he's in alumni too. and eugene, though now in the same camp, same programme, but for only three weeks. than lilian, hmmm, she's always busy.. chuek and hubert i only hear news from momo jin yan here and there. jamin? i only read his always un-updated blog. our timing always clash. and jojo's in US. only correspondence is my tag board or msn. but mostly the tag board. how pathetic. lost contact with raegan. just know he's in armour. i think we must really organise sth and have activities together again like old days. and jojo, when are you going to come back to singapoore for hols?
these are friendships i want to keeep forever..

graduatioon day

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 03:09:15 GMT

today is graduation day. getting my brevet in a few hours time. excited? yup. but it's kinda coupled with other feelings. i still don't feel i deserve that vocational badge. feels as though i am not ready to go to lead my men to combat. but i can't really back out right. just have to try my best in unit. i still wish i was in amour. make the best out of everything.

i'm ok now.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 05:14:06 GMT

ok. no one should ever watch balls of fury. not even download it. watched 10 mins of it and i knew it was a terrible show already. why i even watched it? just wanted to get out of camp for awhile (for the nights out).

yep.. so my foot's alright now. or at least much better. but i'm still wobbling a bit. can't really step with my heel. that means i can't take my IPPT tomorrow, my last chance for gold this year. summex (summary exercise) is next week too. going to wobble around during deployments. hope there ain't too many unneccesary re-deployments. re-deployments= cammoflage net taken down, stores kept, drive to new deployment site, do local security million times, set up everything agin, set up the comms network. basically a lot of work. summex is exciting though. can't wait for it.

ooc - out of course

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 10:22:39 GMT

i thnk i broke my foot. serously. going to the doctor's tomorrow morning. hope for the best. but it's likely i'll get an ooc. no more sir, no more sword, no morre choco bar, all because of a stupid decision.

a terrible day.. integrity problem?

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:55:22 GMT

man.. today's such a dramatic day. and jamin, that's a timely encouragement. i'm thinking of ooc-ing. thinking of talking to my course commander(CC/STO, senior training officer) to take me out of the course. toaday just tells me a lot about myself.

first think in the morning, the CCWO(command chief WO, RSM for you army dudes) came walking by the accomadation block.. saw 2 guy from my course changing up, and some guys in the toilet brushing teeth. asumes our whole course was sleeping. he complains to the 2 guys mainly on, 1. toilet not cleaned. 2. people sleeping. ok.. that was start of trouble. everyone in the course expected devestating comsequences. then call from TO(training officer, no 1. in the course cause STO is on course.) came. he wants to talk to us in the classroom. uh-oh. what's gonna happen? to my surprise and displeasure, after he dug out the whole truth from us, he came up with a plan to cover up everything. including didn't do 5bx and first parade (which are chargeable offences). oh my goodness, that's so disgusting la. is the real world out there like this?

anyway, that was plan A. but we found flaws in it, like the wing commander can find the loopholes and stuff. so for an hour or so, they were discussing a lot in the classroom after TO left for a meeting. it was terrible. in the end i plucked up the courage to say what i wanted to say (also because another guy said partially too), to stop smoking and just take the whole s*** they'll give us. still argued somemore. then they agreed to say the truth with some crappy untrue reasson. still felt uncomfortable. but it's 15 on 1. what to do.

after drawing no 1. no 2. accessories (which is supposed to be an exciting happy experience), our SI(seniour instructor, a master sergeant) wanted to see us. TO came with him. we went on to go up to our bunks, TO questions us as though we didn't had the meeting in the morning with him, confuses everyone. at first i thought it was real questioning. like he was asking out the truth so seriously and all. i thought of saying out the whole truth. but i had no moral courage. anyway he was just acting it all out in front of 2 MSGs. that was what he told a few of my coursemates later. we had bunk inspection after that. then a few of us had to change bunks in 10 mins. that was all the punishment we had.

that was all? i can't believe it. i'm not relieved. i'm disgraced(if there's such a word).

things i found out.. 1. i've no moral courage. 2. no influencial power, unable to get the course to do the right thing. 3. i'm a unwilling conformist. 4. i don't deserve this rank more than many people. 5. i still can't love my enemies. 6. sermons are so difficult to apply. 7. maybe i really need to just get out of this course.

i need a break. and next week is field camp 1. you've gotta pray dude.