this is my way of life.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

friend

i'm blogging again. well, i'm more free these 2 weeks cause i just ended 2 tuition. promos and pri sch final yrs are over so i stopped teaching le. now just left with a a level chem so got more breathing space. i don't know how many i should have next year. maybe just csc's one. but then if that's the csse, i'll be very free like now...hmmmm.

a few post ago, i said that i had not been in contact with a 'once called bestie'. well, i think i'm not ever going to be in contact with her ever again. and i'm feeling quite horrible about it. i think that's why i have no moitivation to do anything. i have assignments, exams are in 2-3 wks time but i just play bejewelled all day. this episode in my life is eeally trying. i asked God for a close friend whom i can share my troubles and joy with, and He provided. then 2 years later, He took away. it's like i'm back to square one in css. no one to share things with, no one to call when i'm down, no one to tell when i did well in school. what is God exactly doing? i also don't know is it because of this i'm drifting away from Him or i'm drifting away so He's doing this.
at least there's still the one best friend i talk to. just that he's very stressed all week long.

i need to pick myself up, is it going to be by myself?

Posted at 09:44 by jeremy

Monday, November 02, 2009

Thanks God!

The semester is coming to a close soon. nows wk 12 which maens next wk is the last wk of sch. oh man! that was fast. 14 wks just passed like that. so many things i haven't understood, so many things i have not done. Exams are coming! Freak out!!!!

no la. just that i realised that this sem has been quite crazy for me. and blessed by God. really thank God he has brought me through, blessing me with good results, better relationdhips with friends, improved my driving! In the first half of the sem, it was quite jialat, cos there were a lot of new concepts to learn in a short peroid of time, plus the fact that the things i learnt in jc were all forgtten. it was terrible learning what is entropy and heat engines when i couldn't remember the first 2 laws of thermody. forgot how to diff and int trig forms. can't understand how mathematicians see numbers as a language in MA1100. but i think i survived. still not understanding much now, but i think it's alright. By God's grace i have survived 11 wks of horrible torture from nus phy and math lecturers.
Lokking ahead, i am kinda like "jing tui liang nan". I'm really excited about learning new stuff in physics, but the senoirs are all scarying me. what they say i'll learn is just intimidating la. but i still have a little more passion than fear. let's take it 1 more year. Actually, i'm also quite keen to learn a new language! like french or bahasa? preferably one without script. but no one wants to take it with me, then i won't have anyone to practise with. don't know whether i should take it next sem or really wait until there's someone to take it with me. hmm.. this journey on nus is starting to get exciting. =)

ok, back to mugging! sianz.

Posted at 16:44 by jeremy

Thursday, October 15, 2009

back again

i'm back again. guess this is the frequency of the post you'll ever get. it takes quite a bit for me to have the urge and time and things to write about to blog.

firstly, thanks to the good friend out there who really light up some portions of my life. it's great to have a friend who cares.

but this post is really more about what my physics lecturer said and few other ppl's comments that make me rethink the purpose of education. (well, i AM going to be an educator anyway, so might as well think of it now right?) yup. so my physics lecturer was showing us the feedback he got from the post mid-term survey he conducted. there were the usual "leave the math out, just teach me the physics" kinda comments which really irritats me a little, since the lecturer had already established the fact that math is the language of physics, like how do you do e lit without english? chemistry without the periodic table? The Bible without the Spirit? yeh, sorry, sidetracked.=P, so, he went on again and said sth about the objectives of the module that he mentioned at the start of the sem. that objective was to transform the thinking of the undergrands from 'A' level-thinking to undergrad thinking. it was a response to quite a number of feedback on the students wanting to get more exercises from the lecturer. he was implying (i think) that 'a' levels style was to give a lot a lot of exercises and drill until you'll know how to do it in the exams, but it should be different in uni.

also, someone from ccc asked a question, "is uni life all about mugging only?" i know it's a bit out of context but it triggered me to think about a more acedamic and 'worldy' aspect.
actually, singapore has one of the best education systems in the world. we produce the best results, our scholars top the overseas unis, compared to the UK and US, the things we learn are more advance at the same levels of education. but i think we don't get the point of uni. not all of us. but some of us and most of us in science. we're very results driven, which is not a bad thing. just that it's the wrong priority in education. i'm sure this is like super cliche and stuff, but it's really a cultural problem in singapore's education system.
1. we do not know what we are learning. why we do well for exams is because we mug hard for it. after we graduate, we forget.
2. a lot of times, we forget the joy of learning new knowledge due to the stress involved in needing to know the concept well so that i can do well in exam. I have a lot of times this sem forgot why i came to major in physics.
3.why is it that unis overseas are less stressful? or is this just wrong and i have heard wrongly from my friends.

well, i remembered why i chose to major in physics. 1. I love the laguage of it. i'm facinated by how mathematicians can come up with amazing things like calculus and complex numbers to solve physical problems. 2. i want to know how relativity works. and how einstein can come up with it so brialliantly. 3. i see the hand of God in this world. physics does not explain the world only, it shows us how the universe falls so neatly into place. shows me how brilliant God, like a computer genius writing a program that runs the world. and people can say that there is no God? there is.

so, i do hope uni do turn out to be what the lecturer says it should be. (though i doubt it) but i can just try my best to stand by my principals of education to learn and be facinated by what i do not knpow.

gd night.

Posted at 01:18 by jeremy

Thursday, April 02, 2009

dreams

I'm watching those films that make you feel good again. the whole fairy tale thing has gotten to me. not like the last post, now i'm watching some taiwan drama. can't believe i'm watching a chinese drama.. but since i'm very free.. just to past the time i guess.
But seriously, isn't everyone's life a fairy tale? one written by God. I guess so, just that everytime you watch a drama/movie love story, you know the male and female lead will always end up together ultimately. i also don't know why i've become like some material girl or something. but i really wishied for some great love story could happen in my life. well.. hopefully that's what God has written! but for now, i wish i have enough faith to believe my life's ending's going to be good.

i haven't actually finished the drama series yet. left with 4 more episodes. prob be done with them tomorrow morning. then the princess can be with the prince. well, some day my princess will come? haha. i actually i feel a little weird writing all these down. I want to be the prince in my story. will God let me? did God let me?

Posted at 01:30 by jeremy

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

feel good

don't you just love the movies that make you feel good? the ones with a happily ever after endings?
don't you wished you live in a fairy tale, and love always blossoms, diseases get healed, relationship are resolved?
i wish.

Posted at 23:46 by jeremy

Monday, September 08, 2008

after a long break.

for all you ppl who still read this blog.

9 months? wow, long time ya. just tt every time i wanted to post, i'm lazy, or tired, or just don't wanna put sadder stuff in here. yup 9 months has been a difficult time. it still is. i'm trying to pick myself up spiritually but it'll take some time and discipline.
actually, frankly, i felt very lonely spiritually this pass year and also last year. been in quite a limited contact with my christian buddies from band. lost all contact with a 'once-called' bestie. never really had a consistently close relationship with anyone in church. church friends has really been limited to sat and sun. and when the nation (actually it's the encik) calls you to serve her in NDP, there is no more sats. so half the church ppl i don't see. no christian colleague. not even a JC person. and when spiritually, you start to fall, with ni support around, you just continue to fall.

thanks to one person's prayer and faith, i'm back on an uphill trek. but, it's still an uphill trek. alone again? i don't know.... is bestie coming back, or has she forgotten. do i pray for another.

keep me in your prayers.

Posted at 22:43 by jeremy

Thursday, January 17, 2008

busy

i need air to breath... wah from going home OTOT, now became go home OT. but still, it's really an adventurous posting. hope i don't fall sick man.. haha

Posted at 21:00 by jeremy

Saturday, January 12, 2008

in a new place , my grass has turned greener!

hmmm... it's been an interesting posting so far. more exciting. maybe because i came with a positive attitude. but anyways, even though there i don't see the sun anymore (i have a staff appointment, aka high paid clerk), it's exciting to do my job. can't talk much here though. just letting you few guys who still take time to read this blog that i'm better in my new posting. it's an adventure.

Posted at 23:42 by jeremy

Sunday, December 02, 2007

missing the jc days..

it's almost a year after jc now. i miss jc. i miss the friends. the teachers. the band pracs. the whole jc experience was really great.
just thinking about the friends from SA. like the only ppl i talk to is marie, yiting and joo ling, just because we take the same bus home together after alumni. and marie's in my section. and marie can't stop talking also. rarely get to talk to momo though he's in alumni too. and eugene, though now in the same camp, same programme, but for only three weeks. than lilian, hmmm, she's always busy.. chuek and hubert i only hear news from momo jin yan here and there. jamin? i only read his always un-updated blog. our timing always clash. and jojo's in US. only correspondence is my tag board or msn. but mostly the tag board. how pathetic. lost contact with raegan. just know he's in armour. i think we must really organise sth and have activities together again like old days. and jojo, when are you going to come back to singapoore for hols?
these are friendships i want to keeep forever..

Posted at 15:50 by jeremy

Thursday, November 22, 2007

graduatioon day

today is graduation day. getting my brevet in a few hours time. excited? yup. but it's kinda coupled with other feelings. i still don't feel i deserve that vocational badge. feels as though i am not ready to go to lead my men to combat. but i can't really back out right. just have to try my best in unit. i still wish i was in amour. make the best out of everything.

Posted at 11:09 by jeremy